


Questionable Tastes

by ZeAwesomeness



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill Cipher Is Weird, Dipper Pines Is Not Amused, Fluff, Funny, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, pancakes gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 11:38:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18690718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeAwesomeness/pseuds/ZeAwesomeness
Summary: Dipper let’s Bill make his own food for the first time since he’s adapted a human form. Bill has some very questionable tastes and Dipper is quickly coming to regret this supposedly simple decision.





	Questionable Tastes

Dipper scoffed at bills grotesque taste of foods. He could understand— or, well, not really understand. He moreso imagined what the whole 'never experienced human sensations before' thing was possibly like using his supernatural experiences. But still this seemed heavily far fetched, even for Bill here. Dipper couldn't even help how his face pulled into a deeply regretful cringe as more mustard was piled onto the already drowning pancakes. Seriously, it had already been a half hour of Bill just frantically running back-and-forth from the kitchen to the dining room table just to grab more and more condiments. He couldn't even see the pancakes on the plate anymore for crying out loud!

"Bill, I seriously think that's enough mustard. Actually just enough of, well..." He took a shuddered pause as he swear he saw the mountain of goop move of its own free will. "Everything." The mentioned demon was already struggling to suppress a laugh as he simply chuckled whilst rolling his eyes— eye? His eye as if what dipper recommended was purely absurd. "There is no such thing as too many flavoured pastes on edible solids, Pine Tree." Dipper stared forth with quite the judgemental look. Not skeptical at all, totally not. "Sure" he drew out longer then what was probably necessary, but he needed to emphasize the sarcasm just for Bill, since without it being made painfully obvious he wouldn't catch on. He finally willed his head to look at anything but the mess bill created on top, hell probably even in, the pancakes. He especially didn't want to see him eat it. "Tell me that one later" dipper gagged at just the smell.  
Since he'd moved his head he didn't see Bills tilt in quite the questioning fashion. A silence stretched, dipper was waiting for Bill to get it over with, whilst Bill awaited a response. Eventually he caught onto the fact dipper wasn't noticing him at all, especially not his demeanour. "What do you mean?" Dipper hesitantly looked back at Bill, making sure he wasn't about to see something to scar him for life. Realizing it was mentally safe for him he fully turned his body and minds focus towards Bill, "what do you by 'what do you mean?'" Bill rolled his eyes as he repeated, in Dippers exact voice and tone, "'tell me that one later'?" Dipper shivered. God there was no way he'd ever get used to bills spontaneous bursts of creepiness.

As he realized what Bill was asking though he suddenly became nervous. How did one simply explain the digestive track to what is supposed to be an all knowing demon? Especially without getting embarrassed or flustered? Hell, the digestive track was attached to, well, lower regions and knowing Bill they'd get very... off topic. He started biting his thumb and looking off into the distance as he thought of the many ways to logically approach the subject. "I don't have all day, Pine tree." Dipper opened his mouth to argue back that he actually did as an immortal being, his abused thumb being discarded, before he closed his mouth once more. Bill would notice he was evading the question so he really felt like he was at a weird loss of words. "How do you not know this?" It was blurted out without much if any thought but, really, it was better than anything else that had come to mind thus far. Bill still seemed as confused as ever, all dipper could do was shrink back from the growing tension which was quickly becoming suffocating to the young adult. "Know 'this'?" Bill drawled out with squinting eyes. Dipper looked down at bills stomach— wait, did he even have internal organs? 

Bill seemed to follow his gaze and something definitely had been non verbally received on the demons end of the stick. A silent message which was hopefully not misinterpreted. "Oh", bill whispered quietly as whatever he had assumed seemed to click. "Oh?" Dipper hesitantly repeated with a reluctant edge as if to confirm the noise the demon had indeed made. He was kind of hoping Bill understood he was trying to decipher his internal bodily functions but the growing smirk did little to actually reassure that.  
"I didn't know you wanted a taste, Pine tree!"  
"Oh" was all that dipper managed to squeak in the moment as many thoughts were quickly rushed to the forefront of his brain. Taste? Taste of what? Did he mean Bills recently acquainted human form, as in literally, like... sexually? Dipper loudly choked as his face grew hotter by ten folds the mental images began to flood. No, no way, Bill would never suggest something like that! It had to be something else. Maybe cannibalism? That seemed more up Bills alley. Or maybe it was the sludge monster crawling off the table— "wait what."

Bills laughter was all that could be heard ringing throughout the shack as he barely caught himself from tumbling onto the floor. "Oh my god, Bill!" Dipper shrieked as his chair scraped rather roughly against the wooden floor boards before ultimately falling to the ground. The sludge monster, still trying to drag it's strange body organized of different condiments, was nearly off the edge of the table. "What did you do!?" It took Bill a few minutes before he caught his breath from all the laughter but when he finally did it was one of the most annoying grins dipper had seen yet on the blonde in awhile. "Honestly Pine tree, how did you not notice it moving before?" Dipper huffed and puffed, his face tingling red for many different reasons similar to embarrassment now as he crossed his arms in mild annoyance. He definitely was feeling the stab at his pride though. "W-Well, I'm not a mind reader like you Bill!" He countered to the best of his current abilities in a flustered state. The threatening tone didn't really sound all too intimidating, hell, even to himself he could hear the childish whine. Said noise just succeeding in making the others grin grow inhumanly wider. He knew exactly where he was hitting using his whole mind reading shtick—  
"Wait, I-uh, wait!" Dipper gasped as the sudden realization dawned on him. Bill was a mind reader. Bill knew what dipper was thinking when he suggested a 'taste.' Oh no. Oh no, no, no.  
"Oh yes~!" Came Bills rather lewd purr far too close to his ear for any comfort. The sudden shock had dipper falling on his butt, nearly landing on the fallen chair, and letting out a not so manly scream. Bill simply smirked, looking way too satisfied with himself, as he left the kitchen. "The offer for a taste is always open, kid!"

"I hate you, Cipher!"

"Love you to, Pine Tree!"


End file.
